Feeling Froggy? How to Stop Tempting Struggles and Start Winning
https://fb.watch/x6HQrKi3-U/
“You feeling froggy? Leap!” (Diana Dubois, Empire)
Introduction
If you are anything like me, with regard to you TV watching pleasures, the show Empire (2015-2020), was a favorite. First, there was the ghetto-fabulous Cookie Lyon.
In the first episode, she beat her son with a broom for calling her a b***h. Many women find that language belittling, but Black Americans have a special something about their mommas – and calling them out of their name may even get you beat-down by your friends. It’s simply not allowed.
Cookie was ghetto-fab in many ways – her speech patterns, her down-home wisdom and her loud, audacious clothing. For some, she was a character to enjoy from a distance. Many of us would not want a friend or relative, with "Cookie tendancies" to embarrass us in public.
For most, Cookie Lyon was a character who was seen as strong, loyal and outspoken. She rarely bit her tongue and, when Cookie actually did feel pain – we all felt it with her.
She was the polar opposite of Black women in popular TV shows like the now classic portrayal of “Claire Huxtable” by Philicia Rashad on The Cosby Show. First, Rashad was previously unknown to many of us. But, her melodic speaking voice provided an entree to the woman who was elegant, classy, and well spoken. How would Rashad embody a “villan” but still maintain that air of sophistication?
Taraji P. Henson provided us with a relatable “anti-Huxtable” character. Her humor and her brazen “take no prisoners” approach to business and personal relationships was something that provided her with a different type of power.
So, imagine the surprise of audiences, throughout the US, when regal met with rachet.
The line that most of us remember is now considered a classic. Cookie warns Ms. DuBois, “Don’t make me come over this table …”
Audience members know that Cookie is one with whom you wouldn’t play on even a good day. But the calm and cool Dubois answered her with confidence, “You feeling froggy? Leap!”
So shocking and elegant was the response, that there are dozens of references and memes dedicated to that one perfectly delivered line.
One More Night with the Frogs
Using the image of a frog to articulate either a threat or resistance is not new. In fact, there’s a sermon that many of us have heard over the years entitled, “One More Night with the Frogs.”
When I heard the sermon, it was delivered by Rev. Wiley who was a guest preacher at Metropolitan Baptist Church. He remarked that Pharoah was given an option to end the onslaught of frogs in Egypt – one of the plagues sent to annoy the Egyptians so that Pharoah would relent and allow the Israelites to leave (Ex. 8:2-9).
But, when offered this “out,” he responded that he wanted the relief, “Tomorrow” (v. 10).
The preacher concluded, effectively, that pharaoh wanted “one more night with the frogs.” In the sermon, the frogs became a symbol of the things which plague and distress us. They represent those things which potentially harm us – yet we will not let them go. Among the images given, he talked about the smoker who coughs and receives bad news from the doctor. Instead of being “scared straight,” he indicates he will quit “tomorrow.”
As many of us reviewed the past year, we often thought about who we have become and who we would like to be. We have pledged our dedication our new selves – working out in the gym, reaching out more to family, taking more time for self care, earning more money. We pledge, we declare that we will no longer be beholden to diabetes and joint issues, unforgiveness of family and friends, wearing down and overtaxing our bodies, or the perpetual sense of financial precarity.
We declare that we will be different. We will change. Yet, when the new day dawns, we slip more easily into established and often unexamined habits. Instead of creating structural change in our lives, we settle into the familiarity of the pain and the troubles which have kept us company.
It’s more than procrastination: we make peace with our pain.
Effectively, we decide to spend one more night with the frogs.
How to Stop Tempting Struggles and Start Winning
What’s the similarity between Dubois and Pharoah? In both instances, the person hears the “frog” threatens to leap into their space and cause them discomfort or pain. And, in both instances, they boldly declare they do not fear the frog. For Dubois, she even dares the “frog” to come toward her.
But, Cookie Lyon is more lion than frog!
What is it about us that is inclined to tempt problems to plague us? Why do so many of us have a predilection for unmitigated struggle and discomfort? Why would we rather seek courage in becoming intimate with the frogs, rather than be rid of them? Why can’t we see that the energy it takes to continue in the presence of the frog, requires us to expend our talents and drain our spirits in ways that are not at all beneficial?
Embracing Change to Leap Beyond Bad Habits
Breaking free from old patterns and creating real, lasting change is not easy. It often requires us to confront the comfort we find in our familiar struggles. However, with the right strategies, it’s possible to leave behind the “frogs” that plague us and move toward the lives we truly want to live.
1. Start with Radical Honesty
Acknowledging the areas in which we are stuck is the first step toward meaningful change. Take a hard look at the habits or patterns that no longer serve you. Write them down and explore how they impact your life—whether it's procrastination, unhealthy eating, or avoiding difficult conversations.
Understanding why these patterns persist can help you identify the emotional or psychological rewards they offer. Only by recognizing these dynamics can you begin to replace them with healthier alternatives.
2. Set Small, Actionable Goals
Change often feels overwhelming because we aim too high too fast. Instead of declaring that you’ll “never smoke again” or “lose 50 pounds this year,” focus on manageable goals like reducing cigarette use by one per day or swapping one unhealthy snack for a healthier alternative.
Celebrate these small wins—they create momentum and instill confidence that larger changes are possible. Each small success is a leap forward, reducing the allure of spending “one more night with the frogs.”
3. Squad Up
The women of color in the US Congress referred to as "the squad" provides a powerful image of exactly how this can be accomplished. Representatives: A. Ocasio-Cortez, I. Omar, A. Pressley, J. Crockett and R. Talib have been known for their mutual support of one another, their bold and challenging insights, and their ability to create collective change.
Change is rarely a solo endeavor. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you to move forward. Whether it’s a friend who holds you accountable, a mentor who shares wisdom, or a community that shares your goals, having a support system provides motivation and reduces the temptation to fall back into old patterns. The frogs are less likely to seem appealing when you’re surrounded by others cheering you on toward success.
4. Reframe Setbacks as Learning Opportunities
When striving for change, failure is inevitable. The key is not to let it derail your progress. If you slip back into an old habit, resist the urge to label yourself a failure.
Instead, analyze what triggered the setback and how you can avoid it in the future. Every misstep is a chance to learn and grow. Over time, this shift in mindset will help you develop resilience and persistence.
5. Embrace the Power of Visualization
To successfully leap away from the frogs, it helps to envision the life you want. Close your eyes and imagine the details of a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled you. What does it look like? How does it feel?
Visualization has been proven to reinforce goal-oriented behavior, making it easier to stay motivated and focused. When the image of success is vivid and compelling, it becomes easier to resist the pull of familiar but harmful habits.
And, if you're still feeling froggy, leap toward success!
Dr. CL Nash, The Misogynoir to Mishpat (M2M) Research Network © 2025